Download e-book for kindle: Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain by A. Lee Martinez

By A. Lee Martinez

ISBN-10: 0316093521

ISBN-13: 9780316093521

Emperor Mollusk.

Intergalactic threat. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of alternative Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth.

Not undesirable for a man and not using a spine.

But what's a villain to do after he's performed . . . every little thing. without new objectives, he's chuffed to pitch in and remedy the strength main issue or repel alien invaders should still the necessity come up, but when he had his manner, he'd wish to be left on my own to discover the bounds of harmful technological know-how. simply as a pastime, of course.

Retirement isn't effortless even though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's consistently the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or . . . good, you get the belief. If that wasn't undesirable sufficient, there's additionally the assassins of a mythical loss of life cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as amazing as he's bodiless) who've marked Emperor for his or her personal nefarious reasons. yet Mollusk isn't approximately to permit the Earth slip out of his personal tentacles and into the fewer able clutches of one other. So it's time to airborne dirt and dust off the outdated demise ray and are available out of retirement. other than this time, he's no longer out to rule the realm. He's out to reserve it from the peril of THE SINISTER BRAIN!

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6 One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts, tossing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. While he was in the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question and as he turned to answer, the peanut landed in his ear. The wife tried to remove the peanut but only succeeded in pushing it deeper into his ear. With all subsequent attempts to remove the peanut failing miserably, the pair began to panic and decided to go to the hospital but, just as they were about to leave, their daughter came home with her date.

She screamed. ’ ‘Roger,’ the pilot responded, ‘but we’re at 35,000 feet. ’ 38 What did the kamikaze pilot instructor say to his students? – Watch closely. I’m only going to do this once. 39 A passenger was sitting on an airplane, sweating profusely and chewing his nails. ’ She got him a whiskey, and he knocked it back, but twenty minutes later she noticed that he was shaking like a leaf. ’ she asked sympathetically. He nodded feverishly. So she fetched him another whiskey, and he gulped it down.

Said the bear cub. ‘Damn. ’ 133 What’s the only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back? – A police horse. 134 It was that time of the year when the bulls were called upon to service the local cows. Entrusted with the task were a young bull by the name of Henry and an older one called Sam. As the senior partner, Sam felt obliged to take charge of the organization. A stickler for neatness, he suggested that they wait until the cows were lined up at the feeding trough and then work their way along the line from either end.

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Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain by A. Lee Martinez

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